Why do feel so alone




















Sometimes loneliness can be caused by something else going on in our lives. Here are some of the major issues which can cause loneliness:. Loneliness can hit anyone at any time. But it's true that a lot of people tend to feel lonely during big life events. Maybe your parents are getting separated. All of these things could be making you feel lonely and lost, and you might find it hard to connect with people around you.

Here are a few quick dot points that cover some of the ways you can start feeling more at peace with the people in your life:. It's not always easy to find the right place to start. Our 'What's on your mind? Why do people feel lonely? Here are a few of the main ones: Feeling distant from friends. Being single. Not fitting in. Maybe you have different interests to the people at your school. Or maybe you just dress differently.

It could be due to a breakup , or a recent move. You can also use this finding to your advantage: Next time you're feeling lonesome, whip up a cup of hot cocoa. The reason you're so attached to your new computer, suped-up bike, or overpriced purse?

According to research published in the Journal of Consumer Research, some people go gaga over inanimate objects because they're lonely. The researchers call this "material possession love," and you've probably witnessed it a number of times: your neighbor who calls his car "baby," or your great aunt who prides herself on her gun collection. Because these folks suffer from a lack of social connections, they start doting on their things.

And as you can probably guess, most experts say possessions aren't a healthy substitute for real live relationships. In fact, a number of studies indicate that having stuff has little effect on your happiness levels; you'd be better off spending the money on an experience, such as a vacation. You can catch a cold from your friend — but did you know you can catch his loneliness, too?

According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Cacioppo and colleagues, lonesomeness can be contagious. In fact, you're 52 percent more likely to feel lonely if someone you're directly connected to is lonely as well, says Cacioppo. When you're feeling empty or isolated, you may behave in more hostile and awkward ways toward another person, who in turn behaves a bit negatively toward someone else, and so on.

The result can be an outbreak of social isolation and rejection. You know all about your cousin's recent jaunt to Hawaii — but not because she told you about it; you saw her pictures on Facebook. According to Facebook, user spend an average of fifty minutes each on its Facebook, Instagram, and Messenger platforms.

When you're feeling alone, you might spend more time posting on social networking sites or online game forums than actually picking up that phone and arranging a lunch or dinner date.

But having a lot of Facebook friends or Twitter followers won't do much to stave off loneliness. Instead, research shows it can exacerbate the problem. Next time loneliness sets in, Cacioppo suggests using these sites to get in touch with your old friends — instead of just gawking over their wedding photos.

If you can count them up without much hesitation traffic jams, terrible weather, rude waitresses , that doesn't necessarily mean your stars were crossed this month — instead, it could point to loneliness. According to Cacioppo, who has studied the effects of loneliness on our health and stress levels , feeling alone often means you spend too much time ruminating.

Research published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science showed that people who reported being lonely also reported more sources of stress and childhood adversity in their lives. Have you packed on the pounds? Loneliness and weight gain often go hand in hand, possibly because we tend to compensate for our blues with food. In addition, loneliness can zap motivation — keeping us on the couch instead of on the treadmill. And that means it may also be a predictor of health problems, such as high blood pressure and unhealthy cholesterol levels , says Cacioppo.

Indian J Psychiatry. Torre J, Lieberman M. Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation. Emotion Review. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page.

These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data. We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. Acknowledge You Feel Lonely. Develop a Plan. Connect With People. Join a Group or Club.

Read a Book. Find an Online Forum. Learn Something New. Engage in a Hobby. Perform an Act of Kindness. Get Professional Help. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

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